"Living in dependence on Him is a glorious adventure."
Sometimes, your inadequacies are staring you so firmly in the face that you can't see to look beyond them. Sometimes fear is the most natural reaction. Sometimes you don't go exploring beyond your own back yard because you're too afraid. Sometimes, you do.
When I was presented with an opportunity to say goodbye to home once again and follow the Wind to a place of loving and serving and discipling passionate youth, my first answer should've been an eager welcome of such an exciting challenge. But instead, I responded by listing off my fears, my misgivings, my shortcomings, and my faults. I tried to think of every reason why I wasn't cut out for the job, why anyone else was a better choice than me.
Sometimes, I forget to believe in myself. And those times, Dad always sends me people who know how to believe in me.
I've learned that Jesus doesn't want to use me. He's tired of His children being used. Instead, he chose to invite me on this journey with him. He opened two doors and promised to walk with me on whichever adventure I stepped into. And being the thrill-seeker I am, I picked the crazier option. The one that didn't make sense and I couldn't figure out the details. I picked the option where depending fully on Dad is a non-option. I know I can't do this alone. But I know I don't have to.
These words still sound funny coming out of my mouth.....
*deep breath*
I'm moving back to New Zealand for another five and a half months to staff a DTS. And I leave in 30 days.
The school is called a Pilgrimage DTS (Discipleship Training School- the program I just graduated from). It's about journeying to encounter God. Furthermore, it's about backpacking New Zealand to find Him in nature along the paths we take. As a school leader, I'm the one helping students and walking with them thru both the spiritual and physical journey.
I've been backpacking maybe twice in my life. Did I mention I feel unqualified?
At this point, I have more questions than answers. Why is it so last minute? How am I going to pay for this (yes, I have to cover my own living expenses and plane tickets)? How am I going to survive outdoors in the fickle weather of springtime New Zealand? How am I going to have the emotional energy that helping others through this God-encounter will take? How do I say goodbye to my beloved home again, so soon after being reunited with it?
I DON'T KNOW.
But one thing I know for sure:
When Papa invites you to backpack freaking New Zealand with Him....... You don't just say no.
Support me! -> www.youcaring.com/aGloriousAdventure
